Two Years

Here we are....another year. I know you are telling EVERYONE to give you presents and bring you cake because you have been in Heaven for two years. It's alright, but you are probably annoying the hell out of everyone, but you do deserve it.
I miss you.
I Love you to the moon and back.
Stay Noble and Kind.

Two years

two years ago I woke up this morning begging my mom to take Allie to the vet. I knew that she was breathing differently and heavily. I was scared. She would also not eat and then eat. I thought her paw was hurting her. That afternoon the vet gave my mom thousands of pills because Allie had Congestive Heart Failure. I of course freaked out and started crying.
Allie---Hope you are living it up this weekend and eat a lot of bacon, pasta, and cake!
Love you!

CA

And I would have told you everyday that I loved you. If only we could go back to two years ago....

Lucky 13

October 13 or was it the 12th? Was one of the last time I said I love you to you.  I mean, it wasn't the last time, but all I remember is that I got down on your level and told you that mom would be back soon and that I love you too. And then took you out around midnight. I miss that. You know you laying down in your spot near the stairs and the sound of you walking.
Like I said before, I Love you too.

Love

If someone would have told me two years ago that you would be dead in exactly four weeks. I wouldn't have believed them and I would have covered my ears and told them to stop talking. Yeah, I'm glad that I didn't know because everything came natural and I took care of you and nurtured you when mom was away. I'm so happy that we had some really nice memories. Like twelve days before you died I laid down with you and told you that I loved you and then took you outside. But at the same time if I had known... I would have begged mom not to have gone because you needed her more.

Fall. October.

It's October, which means its been almost two full years since you have died...and the only thing that I can think of is you and how I am so happy that we had those last few weeks. One of my favorite memories from your last few weeks is when you jumped up on the sofa, after we banned you from the big bed. You were/are the best!

More soon....

Penang

You had a killer smile
that could trap any girl
into wanting to become
your girlfriend.
I guess that's why
my brain
and my heart
aren't connecting
because I became a whole
different person
when I was near you.
I was happy, carefree, and
confident.
A few months ago
I saw you as we
were both driving.
I had those feelings back and they felt  good.
Like there wasn't any bad feelings after the good feelings.
A week later, I told my mom that I felt feelings
and then a week later she brought up their Michigan trip.
But I don't want anything to happen on my terms.
If anything were to happen. I would want it to happen naturally
around town.
So my parents wanting me to go to Michigan
and think about you
when I want to keep going with my own life and not think or force anything upon me
threatened my since of self because I finally found a place where I was (and still am ) happy with rocking myself and at the same time keeping an open mind where my life takes me.