I Was Ready

I was ready to see my dog's ashes yesterday, so I got the box down, took out the gold tin that her remains are in and sat there for 15 minutes preparing myself for what I was going to see.
At first I opened up the tin a crack. and I saw a bag in there. No big deal, right? I finally was brave enough to open the tin all the way and I am not kidding my dog (the greatest dog ever) remains were placed in something that resembled a poop bag or a garbage bag and I still have yet to see her remains. Do the vets really think it is ok to put people's pets ashes in a garbage bag? One of the reasons I was so big on getting Allie's ashes were that I did not want her ashes to go to a landfill, but I guess either way her ashes were going in a garbage bag. And now I have to prepare myself for looking at her ashes again. But I think it will be alright in the end because I know after doing it I will feel better about myself....kind of like I'm not afraid anything that have to do with Allie and that her remains are no longer in a bag.
So Allie, I'm sorry it took me eight months to look in the tin, but you will not be in a garbage bag for much longer because you deserve a much better place to rest.
Love you always!

In my mind

In my mind you are still a important part of our family and maybe it's because I love knowing that you will never leave our side at both the good times and the bad times. or maybe it's because I still want you to be apart of our family even though you are no longer here physically. It's too hard for me not to see the no Allie name scribbled on a card. I don't feel comfortable because too me you are so close, but yet so far away from us and also I will always want you to be apart of our family since you made a huge impact on me.

The Dogs I want to meet when I go to Heaven...

1. My dog Allie....I want her to be the first thing I see when I go to Heaven. I want to hear what her voice sounds like after wondering what her voice sounded like for so long and to hear what her thoughts on everything in life and to hear her say I love you.

2. Shasta Sweet Surrender(Ren)-Allie's mom. I want to thank Ren for giving me a wonderful sister and for looking out for Allie for us.

3. Clark- Allie's dog dad. I also want to thank him for giving me a beautiful girl to love on! Without him and Ren, she wouldn't have ever lived.

4. Lady- my mom's dog growing up. I want to meet my mom's dog sister.

5. Cappy- one of my dad's dog. I want  to meet Cappy becuase he was my dad's dog.

6. Annie- my dad's other dog. Same as above.

7. Katie- my cousins dog. Just to see how she turned out and to talk to her too.

Seven Months

Well as of today it has been 7 months seen we've seen each other. The other night I was thinking if you ever thought about us. If you do, I hope you realize that we always loved/love you like our own, but I'm sure you found out that you had two other parents and seven other siblings. I'm not really sure how you feel about all of this...but just know that we are your family too. My piano recital is coming up soon. I wish you could hear me play my last songs. I remember when I first started playing that you would sit on the chouch. I loved that. Speaking about my piano recital, that means that summer is almost here which means that this is the first summer since forever that we won't be going on our daily walks. I miss those walks with you.
Love you until the day I die,
Caroline

so little

the note was scribbled onto a piece of a hotel paper wishing her a good school year. She probably was going to throw it away eventually, but after you went and left us she saved it because of your name and i'm so glad she did because that note it was one of the last times i signed your name for you when you were still here.

19

well.... i am officially 19 or almost.
All I want for my birthday is to see,
get to spend one more day with you. I wish that I would have known that last year was going to be my last birthday with you because if I had known I would have let you open every last present and eaten way too much of my birthday cake. Maybe as a birthday gift, you could visit me in my dreams tonight? Well anyway, 19 please be good to me because 18 was kind of rough to me. It can only get better from here on out. Oh and cheers to a new year!

3/22/03

10 years ago today was the day that my life changed for the better. I met the most beautiful, caring, and loving puppy a girl could ever ask for. Because of you I now know how to truly love an animal with all  of my heart! I never would have pictured that 10 years later you would no longer be in the next room or that we could no longer go on our walks, but I am beyond grateful that we found each other to live with and that we could love each other in the way that we did. March 22, 2003 is the best day of my life as that was the day that I met you. I love you Shasta Allie Grace Fuger!